Unfortunately, as many know, losing someone you love is hard. The pain of grief can be unbearable. Even if you are “prepared” the fear of not knowing what to do next can feel overwhelming.
If you’re responsible for “taking care of things”, here is a list you can refer to to help you center yourself and guide you through the process.
Step One: Grieve.
It might feel like you need to put your feelings aside and “step up”, but please know that very few things need to be done immediately.
Take time to take care of yourself. Cry, lay in bed, talk to a friend (or a professional) about how you feel, spend time with loved ones or do things that bring you joy. Let people know you are grieving so they can help support you. Do whatever you need to do to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Step Two: Prepare a Service and Obituary.
Contact a funeral home to arrange for transport, if needed, and begin thinking about planning a service. Its possible that your loved one left pre-arranged plans, or guidance as to how they wanted to be celebrated. Take a moment to see if you can find anything. If you can’t find anything, do not worry. Try to guide yourself with the question: “What would they have wanted?” You may also ask others who were close to the deceased what they think.
Even if you don’t know exactly what they would have wanted – or even what you would want for them – a funeral director will be able to help you. They will be able to meet you wherever you are starting to plan a service for your loved one.
If you choose to do so, you can submit an obituary to your local newspaper and/or the funeral home. In our digital age, there are also websites that will host an obituary that you can share on social media. There are many tips, templates, and suggestions online for writing an obituary in case you feel stuck and don’t know what to say.
Step Three: Locate any Wills, Trusts, or other Estate Planning documents.
If your loved one didn’t have any of these documents, or if you cannot find them, that’s okay.
If you are unsure if the documents you have are the most up-to-date versions, give the drafting attorney’s office a call and they may be able to assist you in finding any additional documents.
Step Four: Apply for death certificates
In many instances, will need official copies of the death certificate. Often, a funeral home or other similar service provider can help you request these records. If not, you can request them from the Office of Vital Records if you are an immediate family member, legal custodian, guardian, conservator, or health care agent for the deceased, or an appointed representative of the estate.
Please note that if you are named as the Personal Representative in the decedent’s Will, and a probate proceeding has not been initiated, you are the nominated Personal Representative.
Each copy does cost money, but it’s less expensive to get multiple copies from one request. We recommend getting 5-10 copies.
Step Five: Compile a list of all assets held by the decedent
This list of assets should include anything owned at death by the decedent. This is anything from bank statements, deeds or real estate titles, vehicle titles, retirement accounts, life insurance policies, investment accounts, etc. (Tip: You will never be gathering too much information). You can also make a list of debts or expenses that might become due in the short term. While looking into this information, it can also be helpful to determine if there are any joint owners on any accounts, or if there is a Payable on Death or Transfer on Death designation on any accounts.
Step Six: Schedule Meetings with your Financial Advisors and/or Attorney (If you do not have one, get one! We have some recommendations!)
They can help you:
- Discuss your finances and make a plan for how to cover costs
- Review assets to determine if there are beneficiaries named, and help you claim the assets or benefits that might exist
- Assist in the probate estate administration or trust administration
- Transfer assets from the decedent to its beneficiary, as appropriate
- With many other things!
Conclusion:
It’s important to have support in times of grief, especially from experts like your funeral director, attorney, or financial advisor.
They became experts in their fields by helping people just like you in situations just like yours. You are not alone, and you don’t have to do this alone.
If you’re ready to build your support group through this difficult time, contact us today and let us help.
